


Unforgiveable

by AkikoFumi



Series: Superhusbands Writing Challenge [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7237771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkikoFumi/pseuds/AkikoFumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the Superhero Civil War, Steve and Tony find back together. They try to patch up things, to make their relationship work again. But will they succeed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unforgiveable

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Непростительно](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7690867) by [GLAY](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GLAY/pseuds/GLAY)



> For this Prompt: "You've seen civil war right? If not, please don't read this prompt until you do, cause spoilers. So that part of the movie where Steve raises his shield and Tony covers his face because he thinks Steve is going to kill him. Imagine some time later, Tony is sleeping in a bed, with Steve and he has a nightmare about that, about Steve being about to kill him with his shield. And it's Steve who wakes him up and when Tony sees Steve over him he loses his shit and kinda panics."
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Please note that for this, Tony and Steve have been in a relationship before Civil War happened. Also, JARVIS is still here and Tony still has the ARC reactor.

 

Tony hasn’t been sleeping well for a while. It’s not surprising, given his long list of emotional trauma. There are plenty of things that have happened that cause him terrible nightmares, bad enough to wake him up screaming, or crying, or both.

Before the Sokovia Accords, there was always Steve next to him, comforting him. And while it took them some time to find back together again, they managed it. So Tony is no longer alone when the nightmares come to poison his dreams.

The nightmares used to be about Afghanistan.

The cave, cold and dark and the car battery in his chest shocking him, the guards shouting at him while they push his head underwater. Yinsen, who told him not to waste his life before dying.   

They used to be about Obi.

Obi, whom he had thought of as the caring father he never had and who had ordered to kill him, who had tried to kill him with his own hands, who had wanted to hurt Pepper.

It used to be the Palladium, a constant pain in his chest, slowly killing him.

It used to be New York and the wormhole, Killian and AIM, it used to be Ultron.

It _used to be_.

Now, though…

Lately, Tony has been dreaming about the war they have fought, against each other, the team ripped apart. He sees Rhodey falling from the sky, hears the terrible noise when his best friend crashed into the ground. He feels the panic, the paralyzing fear from when he’d checked for Rhodey’s pulse.

He dreams about Siberia.

The sound of the shield is vivid in Tony’s ears as it hits the armor, again and again. Steve’s face, twisted with anger and determination seems so close. Then Tony feels himself fall and Steve’s on him, shield raised high above his head and there is something in Steve’s face-

Tony is certain he will die.

He expects the shield coming down to crush his skull. He expects its sharp edge to slice his throat and leave him to bleed out, the angry expression on the face of the man he once loved being the last thing he’d see.

Tony _expects to die_.

Steve glares at him, blue eyes flashing and he brings the shield down-

 

Tony jerks awake with a scream, because suddenly there is a hand on his chest, pressing him down and he struggles, dream mixing with reality.

He forces his eyes open, expects to see the ceiling ( _the ceiling? Or will it be the grey walls from the abandoned bunker in Siberia)_ – and instead there’s _Steve_ , leaning over him and Tony completely loses it.

The flashback merges reality with the dream and so the Steve reaching for him is not his lover, it’s the man who beat him, who looked at him as if he was ready to kill him, only to then bring the shield down to Tony’s chest, cracking the reactor powering the suit.

Tony’s panicked reaction comes faster than Steve expects and he lands a solid punch, knocking the blond off and scrambles out of the bed, graceless and frantic.

He backs off until he’s pressed into the wall next to their bed, both hands clutching at the ARC reactor in his chest, blocking out the light. Tony isn’t sure if he’s saying anything, or if he is making any sounds at all; he only notices how his vision seems to blur because he can’t breathe right, can’t get enough oxygen, can’t escape-

 

“Tony-”

Steve reaches out for the brunet, but never reaches him. The familiar sound of repulsors whining fills the room and then a suit lands before Steve, blocking Tony from him. What surprises him even more is the fact that the repulsors are both pointed at him; a clear sign for him to back off.

“Captain Rogers, I must ask you to leave”, comes JARVIS’ voice through the speakers.

Steve frowns at the suit, looking past it at Tony. “But I have to help him-”

“I cannot allow you near him, Captain Rogers. Your interference would worsen the situation-”

“But why?”, Steve asks, voice filled with confusion. He has always been able to calm Tony down from a nightmare, so why-

“Because you are the reason for his panic attack. I will not ask a third time, Captain, please leave the room.”

The words are like a physical blow and Steve gapes; truth sinking in and it _hurts_. He doesn’t even think, just gets up from the bed (and tries not to notice the full-body flinch Tony gives when he moves) and quickly leaves the room.

Only when the door closes behind him does the suit lower its hands and seconds later, JARVIS talks Tony through his panic attack, voice soothing and low until the brunet’s panicked gasps morph into soft hiccups.

 

Steve spends the night in the room that used to be his before… before he moved into Tony’s room. Before they started to share their lives.

Before they fought each other.

The bruise from Tony’s elbow on Steve’s jaw is already faded but JARVIS’ words still hurt. Steve had thought that they were okay, he and Tony. After all, Tony had forgiven him, right? Had welcomed the whole team back in the tower, had fought the legal battle against Ross until they had pardoned Bucky.

Steve hadn’t thought that _he_ could ever be the reason for Tony’s nightly terrors.

 

He deals with the fallout in the morning, plans to do so. Steve wants to talk with Tony about what happened and maybe they can find a way to work through that together.

But Tony walks into the kitchen, looking pale, exhausted, _hollow_ in a way Steve can’t describe and directs a look at Steve that brings the whole world to a halt.

Steve- Steve’s heart clenches painfully at the raw emotions he can see in Tony’s brown eyes. There’s so much sadness, so much hurt and grief it seems bottomless.

The cheerful greeting he had at the ready dies on his tongue when Tony looks at him with these eyes and he swallows hard. Whatever will come now won’t be pleasant.

( _He thinks of Tony telling him to move back into his room, to give him time and space. He’ll do it, he will-)_

“I want to break up”, Tony says instead and Steve audibly gasps.

“Tony-”

The brunet shakes his head. “Don’t, Steve- I can’t do this. I thought- I thought I could _forgive_ you but I can’t. Not- not this quickly. Not now. I-” Tony takes a deep breath, and visibly steels himself.

“I can’t be with you when you’re the cause of my nightmares.”

Steve forgets how to breathe for a second, only stares at Tony, completely in shock. He knew there would be an aftermath, there would be consequences, for him and Tony, but this-

He feels tears sting at his eyes and there’s a lump in his throat that prevents him from speaking.

“Tony- Tony, I’m-”

Tony fixes him with a hard look and Steve realizes all of the brunet’s defensive walls are now firmly in place, shielding his fragile heart. “Don’t say you’re sorry, Steve. It won’t fix anything. I’m not ready to forgive you yet and I can’t be with you, either. It’s over.”

Tony turns and leaves and Steve can’t do anything to stop him.


End file.
